Week of 9/7/2014

"Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park, off of their 2003 album, "Meteora"

I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright
So I'm breaking the habit tonight...

I’m tired of letting the demons of my past get me down. I want to push forward. I want to achieve my dreams. I’m breaking the habit, tonight. 

Retrospective Note 2020: I’m still working on that, but at least I never stopped fighting. I’m finally starting to heal.

Retrospective Note 2022: It's a tragedy to think about as I read those words I wrote back in 2014. Little did I know, that I'd need more than just words to break my habit of giving up. As much as I wanted to stop giving up, I did just that. I gave up for all the wrong reasons too. I gave up for a dying father. I gave up for a past I couldn't fix. I gave up for others, thinking it would make things better, and I only created a world of hurt for myself. I missed out on so many opportunities, and got left behind, as my friends and colleagues rose above and achieved their dreams. I gave up in 2014, and it was the gravest mistake I think I've ever made. It left me on a train headed for nowhere, and for a good 5 years, I had no where to go, at least, so I thought.

It's taken me up til this new decade to finally break free from those chains I wrapped myself in. It look learning the virtue of self respect the hard way, and after years of depressive slumps and breakdowns, I started wanting more for myself. I got tired of being stepped on, and letting it happen. I got tired of having great ideas, only to shove them aside because of being worried what people I called my friends and family would think about me. It took 10 years of harsh reality to finally gain the strength to rise above those depressing thoughts, and live for the first time. I never truly experienced what it was like to be free after graduating high school in 2012 because of my choices. Now for the first time ever, I can truly say, that I'm not just free. I'm free, and motivated to thrive. Not for them, but for me. I finally broke the habit.

Week of 9/14/2014

"Boom Clap" by Charli XCX, off of her 2014 album, "SUCKER"

Boom clap, the sound of my heart
The beat goes on and on and on and on~ 💙 

Retrospective Note 2022: This was chosen after having seen "The Fault in Our Stars". It's been a long time since I last saw that film, but I remember it being quite beautiful. I did however struggle with some of the notions that were shared near the end after the main character meets her favorite author. I think as an adult, I might be able to understand what the story was trying to say about life and death, especially now that I've experienced it. Probably didn't help that I was going through losing a loved one to cancer as well. I should give this film a rewatch.

Week of 9/21/2014

"Coming Up Roses" by Keira Knightley, off of the soundtrack for the 2014 film, "Begin Again"

Everything’s coming up roses~ 🍂💙 

Week of 9/28/2014

"Long Stretch of Love" by Lady A, off of their 2014 album, "747"

Over and over and over, we say that we're through
But I come right back to you...

Been waiting for this one to drop ever since they dropped that teaser, and man, does this song deliver. A new favorite from Lady A~ 💙